It’s taken me getting older to really appreciate aloneness as a discipline and not a curse. When I was young and single I often resented being alone. I’d look around and see others coupled up and feel like something was wrong with me when I wasn’t in a relationship. I didn’t get married until I was 40. I admit that I’ve had similar feelings since becoming a widow. I see my family and friends with their spouses and it can sometimes cause me to feel the heaviness of my loss all the more. Of course it’s through no fault of theirs, just part of my grief journey. I’m learning to live with it. 

I’m also learning to appreciate my aloneness. It’s not the same as being lonely to me. It’s a treasured time and a discipline that the Holy Spirit led me to before I met my husband. I remember sincerely asking the Lord to teach me how to be quiet and hear His voice. At the time I was at a crossroad of either continuing to respond to the noisy pull of the world and my flesh that said I always had to be busy doing something. Or always had to have people around me to feel validated. Or yield to the gentle call of the Holy Spirit to be still and quiet and okay with aloneness. The old song used to say, Steal away to a Jesus! Sung by enslaved people whose life situations were controlled by others who exploited them. And yet they understood about that place where they could go to for healing of their soul. That nothing on the outside could touch. They understood how important the discipline of solitude and retreat from their circumstances was to their survival. Holy Spirit reminding me how close He is to us when we but turn and stop and recharge. Holy Spirit reminding me of a verse in Acts that says times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord. In those times when I stop and turn to the Lord and listen and trust and obey. I repent and receive forgiveness. I worship and receive refreshing. I lay down burdens and receive relief. I listen and receive guidance. I love and am consumed by God’s love for me. This discipline is a win-win for me and the One who understands me more than I understand my myself. I’m renewed, refreshed and restored and it didn’t cost me anything because He paid everything!

Just sharing my morning musings, in hopes that this Labor Day holiday will be a reminder and perhaps the start of cultivating this discipline of solitude, aloneness & retreat in our lives. That times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord.